What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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