this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
