Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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