it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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