she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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