There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
