i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
