final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
