his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
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My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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