I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
