Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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