Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm going to jail i love you
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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