Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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