I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
