you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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