We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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