8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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