Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
