Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
