So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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