apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
