They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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