And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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