At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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