we're blogging at a bar
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
