if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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