You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
