Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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