hotel room ftw
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
