We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
