I hate your face
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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