this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
