Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
