My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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