Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I could fuck to npr.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
