Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
