First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
