so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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