OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
