community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
