Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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