Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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