Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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