she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
