i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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