you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize