Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
