he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
