Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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