No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
