WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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