you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
