I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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