she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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