first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
