I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
