my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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