i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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