In America we eat man semen.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
this will be a night to untag.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
