so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
