i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
